Scariest Thing I Have Ever Done!!

Warning Long Post Ahead!!! Also there is some partial nudity, so not safe for work… or family members who don’t want to see me that way! 🙂  Ok this is seriously probably one of the scariest things I have shared to date! Here are a few of my personal boudoir images.

I have had my pictures back from my own boudoir shoot for about a week and I have wanted to share them but I just didn’t have the words to say how I felt… I am not sure if I have found those words but I am going to try.

Stepping in front of the camera is extremely nerve wracking even for photographer… you can read my previous post about my nerves here.  The night before my photoshoot I made sure I had all the things I wanted packed and tried to sleep, that didn’t really happen I was too excited and nervous.  My photoshoot wasn’t till the afternoon but I had scheduled a couples boudoir shoot that I was photographing before my own shoot to take my mind off of the fact that I was going to be in front of the camera.  The day flew by and before I knew it I was on my way over to the apartment that the shoot was being held at.  I was greeted by Teri Hofford and her make up artist Nicole Velasquez and right off the bat, Teri took control and had me lay out my clothing.  She picked out what she thought was going to work the best and also asked me if I had any favorites or any pieces that I really wanted to use, and she incorporated those pieces.  Then she had me sit down for hair and makeup and just relax.

I am not sure if everyone is able to relax while getting makeup done but for me I just kept taking deep breathes and just kept reminding myself that if I truly want to be a great photographer I need to understand how the client feels (and this client was feeling scared and nervous), but Nicole and Teri made sure to try and keep me out of my head, and we chatted about all different topics and Teri had me laughing as she was trying on a robe and some body necklaces that I brought. Before I knew my hair and makeup were done and they made sure that I liked it before we continued the photoshoot. Just an FYI about makeup that is for photoshoots you tend to have to go a bit heavier for it to show up in camera, so in person it may come off as a lot of makeup but on camera it shows up perfectly!  Teri then showed me the room that I was changing in and told me which outfit to change into and just like that it was time to get to posing.

Teri walked me through some of the instructions that you will hear a boudoir photographer say a lot… “arch more” which is a movement coming from tilting your pelvis, “chin up” which stretches out your neck and shows the arch of your neck, as well as “deep breath in” which really means take a quick gasp of air… this if captured correctly can create a look that is almost orgasmic which is what we are going for!  She also demonstrated each of the poses, gave me clear directions and made me laugh so much I didn’t have time to be in my head and think what the heck am I doing lol! By the end of the shoot I was walking around the place naked.. and yes I was still a bit nervous but Teri and her team made me so comfortable that it didn’t matter my size, my weight, if I couldn’t do the pose just so, she made me feel that it was ok to own my body and like my body as it is and even be proud of it!

At the end of the day my nerves were gone and I was happy and a bit sore from all of the posing.  I truly enjoyed just laughing and having fun with Teri and her team and I was even excited about seeing the photos.  A few days go by and I begin to get nervous again about seeing these photos, I mean really could I even be sexy?  I have such a big stomach and so much cellulite and stretch marks, why would anyone want to see that.  My teeth aren’t perfectly white and I have short stubby fingers and legs, how would she ever make that look good? All that fear and doubt and knowing I don’t look like the typical sexy person you see in media was getting to me.   And then Teri told me my pictures where ready to view and I almost got sick to my stomach I was so nervous to view them. We did a skype reveal since she is in Canada and she first just showed me a slideshow and she mentioned that I needed to look at these pictures as someone else, my sister or my mom because we would never say or pinpoint their flaws like we do ourselves. It is about the bigger picture over all.  After seeing them for the first time there were a few that I really liked but there were some for sure that I really struggled with.  Teri and I talked through the pictures and talked about the ones that made me uncomfortable or why I didn’t like them, which I will get into that in the next blog post and show those photos of the ones I am still learning to grow and feel comfortable with. We also talked about the photographs that I did like and why I liked them.  I learned about the body parts that I am comfortable with showing and that I find is sexy or least easier for me to see as beautiful and desirable.   

So as promised here are some of my personal boudoir pictures from the photo shoot with Teri Hofford Photography that took place on my birthday in July. These are the ones that I gravitated to naturally and felt comfortable accepting these as me and seeing myself as a confident, sexy, and proud woman.